For the last month I've been hungry! Like similar to when I was pregnant accept this time more like a teenage boy because I'm not nauseous. Even if I eat until I feel like I'm going to explode, I will be starving an hour later. When I get really hungry then I get tired so getting up in the morning with Nico is hard because I'm so hungry, tired and weak. His smile gives me just enough energy to get him up, changed and in his high chair so I can get a bowl of cereal in me. In the afternoon I crave fast food. I know it's crap and I really want healthy food but I'm so hungry that I just want food now, not in half hour when the good food is done. It's terrible. I want wine everyday almost too. I figure I could drink a glass as soon as Nico goes to bed and be good to breastfeed by the time he wakes up again. Usually it's a 5 hour gap but I haven't done it yet.
I also weigh 5 pound less than BEFORE I got pregnant! I still have no stomach muscles so it's still a little pouch and when I eat it looks like I'm 5 months pregnant. I'm not confident enough yet to wear a bikini because of my stretch marks. I keep saying I'm going to get back to my workout DVD but I haven't yet.
I'm convinced that I'm lighter than I was and hungry all the time because Nico is literally eating me. My body is working so hard to produce all the milk that he demands that it's taking it from where ever it can. I'm not eating properly or enough to supply it with what it needs. Isn't that terrible! A hard cycle. So my advice to all moms feeding 7 month old is to eat, a lot. Plan meals, get help and don't feel bad about eating like an elephant.
Also, I miss my friends finally! It only took 9 months after moving away. I want to go out with the girls. I need to go dancing and get dressed up and just not care for an hour or two. I haven't put a pair of heels on in almost a year. I just have no where to go and no one to go with! We've had a lot of friends and family come to visit so that's been great. I think that's why it took so long for me to get lonely. We've had lots of guests. Now, everyone is gone. My hubby will take me out whenever I ask which is great but we always bring Nico with us, which is also nice. I love going out as a family but a girl needs girls night out once in a while.
Overall though I'm pretty happy. I still can sit and watch Nico do whatever it is that Nico does for an hour without getting bored. I like getting stuff done around the house and not having to go back to work. The things that I "miss out on" because Nico is too young to go I don't feel bad about any more. I'm starting to look forward to doing them with him next year or in a few years. I'm learning to say no to invitations to things I normally would jump at. I can't just get in the car if someone calls and wants to go paddle boarding. I'm learning to be ok with that. I even like having something to do 24 hours a day. I thought that I'd get tired of that but I enjoy it now. As long as I get a break everyday or every other day even if that just means a shower. Most times Nico's nap is enough of a break to get recharged. I love being a mom.
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